Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
