It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
