His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
