Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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