doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We are two peas in an std pod
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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