I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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