This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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