You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
