Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
