Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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