I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
