he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
