Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize