Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
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