its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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