I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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