I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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