One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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