Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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