Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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