You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
