just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
