I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
