Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You don't make any sense
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