Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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