Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
