no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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