U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
