ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
