Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
