she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
