Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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