i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
