He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
