Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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