Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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