She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
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i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
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Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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