She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The beer is more important than you right now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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