Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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