M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
