Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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