Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
