Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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