the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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