Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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