At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
