My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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