That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
