JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
