im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
