Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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