Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
