how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
