It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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