Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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