so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
