Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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