For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
