my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
